
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13739484.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      僕のヒーローアカデミア_|_Boku_no_Hero_Academia_|_My_Hero_Academia
  Relationship:
      Iida_Tensei_|_Ingenium/Iida_Tenya
  Character:
      Iida_Tensei_|_Ingenium, Iida_Tenya
  Additional Tags:
      Roman_Catholicism, Catholic_Guilt, Catholic_Imagery, Masturbation,
      Sharing_a_Bed, Pining, Sibling_Incest, Somnophilia, Non-Consensual
      Somnophilia, Oral_Fixation
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-02-25 Words: 3008
****** The Deer's Cry ******
by MrsArataka
Summary
     "He'd taken advantage of Earthly pleasures as a younger man. Younger
     than Tenya was now, he'd found happiness in partners, but even before
     that time he felt destined for the Church. This depraved feeling he
     carried for his brother nipped at Tensei's ankles when Tenya was
     young, but worsened as the boy entered puberty and grew into a
     strong, caring young man with a heart bigger than his smile that
     cracked Tensei's carefully-constructed veneer of a subservient man of
     God.
     Even now, the cracks spread in tendrils over Tensei's body. But if he
     left this feeling, he'd shatter."
     Tensei is a respected Catholic priest, but harbors a dark secret.
     (Catholic AU)
Notes
     This was a fic written for my friend Nat! I've never written sibling
     incest, or a Catholic AU, so it was a bit of a challenge. I'm also
     not Catholic, so I tried to do my research and hopefully not butcher
     the finer points of the religion.
     Hope you enjoy!
See the end of the work for more notes
 Christ be with me, Christ within me…
 Christ behind me, Christ before me…
Tensei was a man of faith.
When he’d entered the clergy, he was unknowingly starting a family
tradition. They had great pride in him, an example to strive towards. His other
brothers, after finishing school, became men of faith as well, though they were
sent to churches elsewhere in the world to serve God and their communities.
After over a decade of service, he’d become a respected member of the clergy,
favored by the congregation.
Tensei found no bigger fan in the congregation than his own younger brother,
Tenya. A student at the parochial school attached to his parish, every day
after classes Tenya rushed to the chapel, following close at Tensei’s heels
while he performed his priestly daily obligations. Tenya had always been mature
for his age, and was far more studious than Tensei had been as a teenager, and
for that he found his brother amusing.
 Christ beside me, Christ to win me…
And that was the dilemma.
Tensei spent many years in the church running from a feeling he could never
place. It was easy for him to chalk it up to the confusion of youth as a
younger man, misplaced emotions from someone coming to terms with rejecting
worldly pleasures for the eternal paradise of God’s love. The church found him
- or, he found the church - and provided an outlet. The cloister gave relief,
structure, distraction, purpose. Despite Tensei’s confusion, there existed no
certainty more poignant than that of God’s love. Tensei shared everything with
his trusted peers and seniors, except this one dark secret. He knew God loved
His children, no matter the sin. Still, no amount of prayer would bury this
feeling. He found small ways to push them aside, burying them in his work and
good deeds, to ignore them for the moment. But always, the sin found ways to
creep in.
 Christ to comfort and restore me…
Tensei loved his brother. And he would never want to hurt him. That was why
he’d locked himself away, so he couldn't.
 Christ beneath me, Christ above me…
Tensei was a man of faith. And the shame crept through him, every day.
It made Communion especially difficult. At each Mass, Tensei took charge of
delivering the Holy Eucharist to the congregation. Communion, by nature, is
intimate - a binding of mortal souls to the eternity of Jesus and of God, and
the act of placing the consecrated Host on the tongue of a member of His flock
expressed that bond.
 Christ in quiet, Christ in danger…
A good Christian and dutiful Catholic, Tenya attended Mass as often as
possible, but always had a special fondness for the bonding act of taking
Communion. Today, tasked with the role of delivering the Body of Christ, Tensei
felt a familiar ache of shame and anxiety as he spotted his brother line up
with the rest of the congregation to receive the Eucharist. Palms clammy and
hands shaking, the feeling would pulse through Tensei's veins and into his
every limb. The guilt seeped through him, steeped into the loaf of bread from
which he offered the Body of Christ, imbuing it with trepidation.
Tenya, beaming with pride for his oldest brother who he admired so dearly,
knelt in front of him, and in that moment Tenya realized how much his brother
had grown.
The men in their family were always tall, broad, the majority of them (Tensei
included) spent their free time exercising and keeping their bodies in peak
physical form. Tenya was no exception - but like everything in his younger
brother’s life, he regimented his life and exercise routine carefully, and at
only 14 had more muscle than Tensei ever did at his age, perhaps more than he
did even now. He radiated light, warmth, he was beautiful inside and out.
Tensei loved his brother.
Tenya smiled with pride at his brother as he knelt in front of him. He looked
up at Tensei with absolute trust. Between them was the bond of brothers, second
only to another bond - the bond of man to the Lord.
 Christ in hearts of all that love me…
Tensei tore a piece from the bread loaf, drawing in a steadying breath. He knew
it would make him weak.
“Body of Christ,” he said, his tone soft, soothing. Difficult.
“Amen,” Tenya responded. And he opened his mouth.
Tensei reached down, and placed the small chunk of bread in his brother’s
mouth, accidentally grazing his soft lips and hot tongue. The breath Tenya
released, with his brother’s finger still just barely in his mouth, made a jolt
of electricity run through his veins.
 Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
And through the rest of the act of Communion, as ritual as the act of the
giving of the consecrated Host, Tensei would internally recite prayers for
forgiveness, prayers of devotion, willing himself to maintain composure. He
felt the cold sweat all over his body, soaking through his habit. Still, he
smiled warmly and bowed his head and made signs of the cross with his unsteady
hands.
A decade ago, Tensei made a vow of devotion to serve the Lord. Though he
aspired to spread His word on Earth, he couldn’t shake this thing that defined
him, anchored him to mankind's sinfulness.
In his darkest of times, Tensei wondered why he stayed with the parish despite
himself. Could he not rebuke his faith, become a layperson again, leave the
city altogether? What tied him here, equally binding him and keeping him
running from himself?
One look at Tenya, one smile, one hug from the person who trusted him most, and
he felt the ties shackle him to his robes, collars, rosaries.
He spent many nights kneeling at the pulpit, making an extra prayer to the
rosary, begging for the feeling to pass.
===============================================================================
 
It wasn't unusual for Tenya to sleep in Tensei's room in the priest's cloister.
Curfew, for both the cloister and the church's parochial school, was promptly
at midnight, and demanded all religious officials and students should be
accounted for and in their rooms. For some students, namely those with family
living on-site, there were exceptions. Tenya was a respected student - top of
his class, and president of the middle school's student government, often
tasked with leading religious discussions held in the dormitories on their days
off. The nuns who taught classes and supervised the dorms liked him, and
trusted him not to get into trouble.
So on the nights that Tenya went from Mass to his big brother's room in the
cloister to talk late into the night, no one thought much of it. And why would
they? There were no picture-perfect siblings like the Iidas. Following in his
respected older brother's footsteps, Tenya knew his destiny was to one day
become a man of the cloth. With that considered, it was only right that he
spent much of his free time at his pious brother's side.
He was a good priest, Tensei told himself. Why else would his brother love him
so much, if not for that?
Laying back-to-back in the small bed, their limbs brushed awkwardly as Tenya,
fast asleep despite the raging storm outside, stirred only occasionally. Steady
and soft, his breaths sounded like waves, crashing on Tensei's ears. He'd
always been a heavy sleeper, ever since he was small. Tensei knew that Tenya's
dreams, if he had any, would be peaceful.
His eyes wide open, Tensei stared at the wall of his room, trying and failing
to will himself to sleep. Swarms of butterflies rose within himself with each
touch, and each time Tensei squeezed his eyes shut to squash them. Tonight, he
ached, the feeling especially strong. Hell's flames already licked at his
loins.
As long as Tensei tried to be a good man, he would be a good man. At least that
was the lie he told himself.
Tensei rolled over, the entire right side of his body pressed into Tenya. His
brother was warm - so warm - but unlike the damnable inferno that trickled from
his heart to the rest of his body, his brother felt like sunshine. In truth,
Tenya embodied sunshine, his smile always effusive, his skin glowed like-
 His skin...
Tensei turned and looked at the back of Tenya's head. He saw the nape of his
neck, the skin between his hairline and collar smooth and milky, and dread
overtook him. Pulled by a dark force, he reached his hand out to touch the spot
visible above the collar of his nightshirt, but hesitated. His fingers, shaking
and clammy, barely brushed the skin.
If he touched his skin - if he touched more - Tensei didn't know if he'd be
able to stop himself. But he was so close he... he couldn't help it now...
Tensei would never do anything to hurt his brother. But... it was just a gentle
touch...
He reached out again, and gently touched that bit of barely-visible skin,
pressing the pads of his fingers against it. Tensei let his hand slide, and
gripped Tenya's neck gently, his palms soaking in the heat that came off his
soundly-sleeping brother's skin.
He felt like springtime.
A shaking breath escaped Tensei's lips, and he felt it on the back of his hand.
An all-too familiar painful heat coursed through him, growing stronger, and
Lucifer's laughter rung in his ears with each passing moment...
A crack of thunder and lightning that illuminated the room offered Tensei a
moment of clarity, and he removed every inch of skin that touched Tenya. His
heartbeat pounded in his ears as he gasped for air, taking in some steady
breaths to calm his nerves. It worked, but by the time his heart rate steadied
Tensei was drenched in cold sweat. He lay there a moment looking at Tenya,
wide-eyed, unsure of what to do.
And he had a thought.
Just once, Tensei thought.Just once, and I can spend the rest of my days on
Earth in penitence and chastity. If I break my vows just for the moment, I can
release this sin. If I don't wake Tenya - if he never finds out what I've done,
lying next to him as we always have - I won't hurt him.
It was the Devil's reasoning, and Tensei knew that. But it rang clear in his
mind.
Under the covers, Tensei reached out and felt for his brother's back, and found
that his shirt had ridden up in his sleep, exposing a bit of his back.
Carefully and without touching his brother, he put his hand into the space
formed by the shirt lifting from his body, then gently placed his fingers on
Tenya's skin, tracing the line of his spine to the small of his back. Tensei's
breath shuddered, but he did not stop. He couldn't, not now.
Tensei preached on the gruesomeness that awaited sinners in the Lake of Fire.
But he could imagine no burn to be worse than the way he burned for Tenya.
Tensei brought a hand up to his own chest, and felt his heart pounding through
his nightshirt. He clutched the fabric, tugged, found himself panting with his
hand gently placed on his brother's skin.
He'd taken advantage of Earthly pleasures as a younger man. Younger than Tenya
was now, he'd found happiness in partners, but even before that time he felt
destined for the Church. This depraved feeling he carried for his brother
nipped at Tensei's ankles when Tenya was young, but worsened as the boy entered
puberty and grew into a strong, caring young man with a heart bigger than his
smile that cracked Tensei's carefully-constructed veneer of a subservient man
of God.
Even now, the cracks spread in tendrils over Tensei's body. But if he left this
feeling, he'd shatter.
Unable to ignore it any longer, Tensei reached into his own shirt, trailing the
skin dotted with goosebumps down to his navel, pelvis, brushing his waistband,
trembling. Touching his own skin like this felt electric; he'd pushed this
feeling deep, deep inside for so long, but now his body pulsed with
anticipation. He'd denied himself for more than a decade - God, a decade - and
even now guilt cloaked him in a leaden sheet, But the soft caress of his own
hands sent shivers down his spine.
If Tensei acted on his impulse now he'd cave, and there would be no turning
back. But after coming so close to the edge… it felt so close…
His hand reached down and cupped his groin, feeling the erection throb beneath
him. With the touch, Tensei let out a surprised groan, and stifled it by biting
the inside of his lip. Now, this close to falling to temptation, after the
years of stubborn repression, he felt his pants already soaked from the precum
dribbling out like a faucet. He sighed, trying harder now to stifle his own
moans, rolling his face into the pillow to muffle the sound, aided by the
downpour outside and continuous rolling thunder reverberating against the thick
stone walls of the cloister. With one hand touching himself, the hand still on
the small of Tenya's back shook.
Tensei would have been more surprised at Tenya sleeping through the storm, but
he'd slept through worse storms than this, even earthquakes on more than one
occasion. Tensei just thanked God that he didn't -
No... It wasn't God that he ought to thank for this moment.
Trailing a hand from the small of Tenya's back to the slight bend of his hip,
Tensei made sure not to make much noise as he continued to press his other hand
between his legs. He heard his blood pumping it in his ears, the drumbeat
leading him to Hell. And at this point he could do little else but follow.
Tensei reached a hand below his waistband, and drew in a sharp breath. He
stifled the ragged sigh with a moan in his pillow, and touched the skin,
already slick with his own shameful arousal. He hadn't touched himself in this
way since taking his solemn vow. Through this commitment to God, Tensei was
able to grow closer to the Heavenly Father, to be His representative on Earth.
Mankind, he knew, had been made in His image. By all accounts, Tensei no longer
needed Earthly pleasures; he found love and salvation in the Lord. Through
chastity, his bond to God was strengthened. To act on this feeling was to
reject His teachings and his own position as a man of the cloth, to turn away
from God.
But as he wrapped a shaking, clammy hand around himself, and squeezed genty,
Tensei felt the presence of God more strongly than he ever had before.
In Tenya's soft skin, Tensei found God.
Tensei’s whole body tensed, trembling as he took note of the way his fingers
felt around his cock. Had it really been a decade since he'd debased himself in
this way? Had he even considered doing this before this night?...Did Tenya ever
touch himself in this way?
The thought made him twitch with arousal.
Yes, of course his brother had touched himself before, Tensei thought. Tenya
had dreams of becoming a priest one day, but for now he was still a young man.
Tensei remembered being the age Tenya was now, those late nights before he'd
entered the cloister, bringing himself to release in those days before he'd
suppressed desires with a collar and habit. Surely Tenya had the same kinds of
desires and took advantage of them while he could.
Tensei's hand moved on its own, the dragging of palm against skin filling him
with electricity as he pumped slowly felt alien, while the other hand still sat
on Tenya's hip. The storm continued outside while he touched his skin, fire
coursing through his veins. His breaths grew louder and harder, legs seized up,
toes arched, tangled into the sheets as he lost himself to the feeling.
Tenya was right here, but even still Tensei's mind drifted to other thoughts of
his sweet youngest brother. He recalled Communion, Tenya's wet tongue against
his fingers, vividly imagined his mouth taking his cock into the inviting
warmth and dampness. He felt the hot breath on his skin again, felt it all
over, devouring him, prickling his skin, making him feel alive, human.
Tensei's eyes rolled back into his head as his orgasm burst forth, overwhelming
his senses. His body crumpling with the force, Tensei's head pressed between
Tenya's shoulder blades, making no effort now to stifle his moans or pitiful
whimpering. As the hot liquid emptied into his open palm, every ounce of
tension left Tensei's body.
And as quickly as his tension left, the guilt replaced it.
Tensei looked down and saw the milky-white evidence of his sin in the palm of
his hand, all over his sheets - even on Tenya's exposed skin. Was his moment of
pleasure worth this shame?
And Tensei had never needed God more than he did now.
Rushing out of bed, Tensei quickly donned his robes and ripped the rosary off
of his bedpost before bolting out the door. It was a good thing Tenya was hard
to stir from sleep - Tensei had lost the will to prevent himself from making
noise, and made no signs of waking up despite the commotion. In the torrential
rain, Tensei rushed from the cloister to the chapel, and threw the doors open.
Stumbling inside as he heaved sobs, Tensei trailed mud down the aisle as he
rushed to the pulpit to collapse in front of the statue of Mary. Hot tears
rolled down his cheeks as he beheld her expressionless stone face.
From his pocket he drew the rosary, and clutched the crucifix tight in his
palm, the face of the Lord digging into his flesh.
“I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, and in
Jesus Christ, his only son…“
Reciting the rosary, his voice shaking, he knew God would not listen to him.
End Notes
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